The 100% Rule

The 100% Rule says that adhering to personal convictions 100% of the time is much easier than doing it 99% of the time.  The rule is simple in theory yet extremely difficult in practice. For example – let’s say you decide that smoking is unhealthy and a habit you never want to take up.  The 100% Rule says that you will have a greater chance of never habitually smoking if you can avoid lighting that first cigarette.  I know that this statement is beyond obvious. Could you have just one cigarette and not become a chain smoker?  Absolutely, but breaking a personal conviction even just once is a slippery slope.  Holding firm only 99% of the time can quickly turn to 95%, which can turn to 50% and on and on until something that you set out to avoid has now become a habit.

Anyone who has broken a diet, a New Year’s resolution, or struggled with an addiction of any kind can attest to this rule.  Everyone can attest to this rule.  We often tell ourselves “just this one time” or “there is no way I could go the rest of my life without ever doing (insert habit here) again.”  What we need to focus on getting through that moment only.  When the next obstacle arrises, and we all know it will, we will deal with it then.  Moment by moment is how we overcome.

I hope that you find the inner strength to adhere to your personal convictions 100% of time and when your convictions are being challenged, may you focus on only the moment.

People who have done it

“At any rate it seems that I am wiser than he is to this small extent, that I do not think that I know what I do not know.” – Socrates [Apology 21d]

One of the hardest things for many people is to admit that they don’t know what they don’t know.  Do you remember sitting in a classroom and your teacher concludes the lecture with, “Does everyone understand?  Are there any questions?” You have questions, but you don’t ask.  No one else’s hand goes up, so you think you must have missed something and you don’t want to be the only one that didn’t get it.  Five minutes later you find yourself in the hall talking with your classmates only to find out they had questions as well, but were too scared to ask.  This scenario plays out on sports fields, in the workplace and just about everywhere.  For many people it is a humbling experience to realize that they do not know something.  But once we admit that we don’t know everything and start asking questions something magical happens – we learn, we grow, we improve.

Once you determine that there is no shame in asking questions, where do you go to get questions answered?  Who should you learn from, who should you ask?  For me, the first place and last place I go is to someone who has actual experience.  The age old adage that experience is the best teacher is absolutely true.  There is a lot to be said about someone who has walked and lived in an area of life in which you want to learn and grow.   I respect people who have done it and I seek out those who walk the walk for advice!

There is a lot of value in learning from people who have actually done it…

The Voice Inside

Will you seize greatness?

The Will to Prepare

Checking in from Tegucigalpa, Honduras.  Do you have the will of the warrior?

Time…

As a player, I know my career is finite.  It will not go on forever.  I try to remember this truth every time I step on the field.  We are all just one play away from a career ending injury.  One cut off the wrong foot, one awkward fall, one high hit and your career could be over.  It is not depressing, it is reality.  I remind myself of this over and over again so that I will not take any opportunity for granted.  Hopefully I will play until I decide to call it quits, but this is not guaranteed and I know it.

True in sports, true in life.

We often convince ourselves that the rules of the world do not apply to us, that we are above the laws of nature.  We believe that we are invincible and the things we see and read only happen to others.  Time is our most limited resource.  We never know when our lives will end and this is a truth that none of us can change.

Appreciate the opportunity that today brings.  Embrace it and enjoy it.  You do not know what is on the horizon so live each day with purpose.

Heroes in Waiting

I watched a TED talk by Philip Zimbardo, who conducted the Stanford Prison Experiment and was an expert witness in the Abu Ghraib prison trial, on what makes us become either monsters or heroes.  First, if you do not know what TED is, I highly recommend it!  It is free online lectures and talks on a wide variety of topics – www.TED.com – check it out.

Zimbardo, went on to use a phrase during his talk that I absolutely love – “heroes in waiting.”  What beautiful words.  He goes on to describe that we, as a society, have the wrong idea of heroism and who we call heroes.  We think that heroes require abnormal strength and intelligence, that our heroes are special people made of a special fabric.  Zimbardo believes, and I agree, that heroes are everyday people.  They are the stay at home mom, the working dad, students, teachers, you and me.  Your race, occupation, age, gender are irrelevant.  What defines a hero is action.

We never know when or where we will be called to act for good, but when we find ourselves in that moment where we can either act or standby and do nothing, what will we do?

We are all heroes in waiting.

Proving others wrong…

This past weekend we held tryouts for our club teams.  There were great players from all over Ohio who attended and the competition was terrific!  The evaluation process was difficult for the coaching staff as it always is when you have so many great players on one field.  It is always hard to tell someone they did not make it to the next round.

As a player, I have tried out for many teams.  Some I made, some I did not.  What I enjoy about trying out for a team is that you have a chance to compete and measure yourself against other players.  Many times, for players who do not make teams, I hear them say, “I will prove you wrong, I will make this team next year.”  They use the fact that they did not make the team as motivation, which is not a bad thing.  However, you will always have people telling you that you are not good enough or you could have done something better.  The world is filled with nay-sayers.  The point is this – if you set out to prove others wrong, you will never accomplish your goal.  You could never ever prove all the doubters wrong.  But, you can control yourself, your attitude, your work ethic, your desire and passion.  For any player that has been cut from a team, I encourage them to say “I will prove myself right, I will make this team next year.”

Don’t prove others wrong, prove yourself right.

Defining Success

As a coach, what does success look like? How do you want your players, your coaching staff, your parents to view success?  What is a successful season?  The answer to this question is different for coaches, but it is the question that is of crucial importance.  I believe that many coaches do not define success; they do not invest the time to think about what success means and looks like for their program, they are not intentional and purposeful about their coaching philosophy.  Many coaches confuse success with goals.  Most coaches are great at goal setting – Win a championship, make the playoffs, score more goals than the other team, etc.  Goal setting is a good thing, but if you do not have the foundation and understanding of what success looks like, you have done your players a disservice.  Goal setting is getting your players to chop down trees, understanding what success looks like is making sure your players are in the right forest.  Here is my advice that will hopefully help you define success for your program.  This is not a quick process, take your time and be intentional.  This has helped me and it is important to revisit regularly

1.    From the end we find our beginning – When your players and coaches walk away at the end of the season, what do you want them to take with them?  What knowledge? What values? What principles? When you take time to answer these questions hopefully you will arrive at the fact that you are teaching more than winning or losing.  You, as a coach, are teaching life.  You are teaching kids how to work as a team, how to communicate effectively, the benefits of hard work and discipline, how to handle adversity, etc.  These principles and life lessons will serve your team infinitely more than winning a championship.

2.   Experience is the best teacher – Think about your coaches, teachers and mentors.  What did they teach you that is worthy of paying forward? What did you learn from them that you would do differently?

3.   Process not outcome – In our culture we measure success by wins.  As an athlete, I know that in order to have a championship season you need a lot of luck and a solid foundation.  A couple of pipes here or there and a season can turnout completely different.  Focus on the process.  How can you structure your practice in such a way that you are teaching success everyday?  The process is and always will be more important than the outcome.  Focus your energy here, it is the one thing you can control.

4.   Communicate – Tell your coaches, tell your players, tell you parents. And then tell them again. And again.  And again.  Tell them what a successful season looks like to you, what is important and why.

5.   Practice what you preach – All eyes are on you as a coach whether you like it or not.  It comes with the territory.  Nothing undermines trust as fast as a hypocrite.  Kids are very perceptive.  Your actions must reflect your words.  If you make a mistake along the way, which if you are honest with yourself this will happen (guess what? You are human), admit it and move on.  Do not pretend like it did not happen.  Ask your staff to keep you honest.  Ask them if you are walking the walk.  If you believe it, live it and kids will follow your example.

This helps me as a coach, player and person and I hope it helps you, your athletes and your program. It is important to revisit at the beginning of every season.  Take the time to make sure you are in the right forest before you start chopping trees!

Failure

Last night I had coffee with a coach who I respect and admire much. He is a guy who does things the right way – he really cares about his kids and always has their best interest in mind. He is selfless and uses lacrosse to teach life.

As we talked, the topic came up of failure. How do you create an environment where failure is not only accepted but encouraged? When players fail it is usually because they pushed themselves to their limit. This is where growth happens. Where players find out about themselves, their ability to preserver and improve and that failure does not really hurt as much as they thought. It is also, where you have the opportunity to teach and mentor. WIthout failure there is no success.

Encourage your kids to fail. Create an environment where kids feel safe and have the ability to reach their full potential as people and as players.

Let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes about failure -

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt

How to choose a lacrosse club program

The club sports phenomenon has taken over the summer lacrosse circuit.  Its arrival was all but certain and club lacrosse is here to stay.  Lets explore some of the positives and negatives associated with club programs.  First, club programs are neither good nor bad, they are amoral.  There are a lot of negative perceptions associated with club teams and rightfully so, but they themselves are not good or bad.  Club teams experiences can be great or terrible, but it is more about the people behind the organization and the culture they are building.  The way one views club sports programs is fundamentally shaped by what one values and what one wants their son/daughter to get from playing on a club program.  What is important to you?

With that being said, here are my thoughts on the good and bad things I have seen from the privatization of sports based on what I value and think club programs should be.

First, the good.

1.) Players have the chance to continue playing over the summer on an organized team

2.) College coaches have the opportunity to recruit talented players

3.) Players have the opportunity to be coached by someone new, play with different athletes and make new friends

4.) Players and parents get to travel and see different parts of the country together

And now the bad.

1.) Some club programs are run for the wrong reasons (money, ego, etc.)

2.) False advertising (A lot of club programs make a lot of claims about what they can do for players and everyone running a club program has a seemingly endless Rolodex of college coaching “connections”)

3.) The marketing of high school athletes

4.) The expectations that all kids in summer programs must play D1 lacrosse

These are just a few of the good and bad things I have seen in the club lacrosse world.  There are many more positives and negatives, but I just wanted to hit on the major issues I see.  So what should players and parents look for in a club program?

1.) Coaching.  Who is going to be coaching your son/daughter?  Is this person a good role model and someone you want your son/daughter to be around?  Will they use lacrosse as a platform to teach your son/daughter life skills?  Most kids will not have the opportunity to turn lacrosse into a profession, so knowing how to run a perfect pick and roll or perform a coma slide will not help them 10 years down the road.  But, knowing how to prepare properly, how to handle adversity and how to function as a team will serve your son/daughter forever.

2.) Practice.  Will the team actually practice?  Many teams are thrown together with little focus on player development.  The number one goal for players during the summer should be to improve as a lacrosse player.  The only way to do this is practice.

3.) Experience.  Club lacrosse should be a great experience – new coaches, new teammates and a chance to play against different players from different states.  Choose a program that will give you the most enjoyable summer overall experience.

4.) Fun.  Lacrosse is fun and it shouldn’t be a job for high school players.  Make sure you enjoy it!

Here is my final advice, which is often easier said than done.  Do not get caught up in titles and don’t base your selection of a club team on status.  Just because it says “invite only” or “elite” does not mean that it is.  Remove the titles and ask yourself, “If this was called the “Not-Elite” program, would you still want your kid to participate?  Titles should not play any role in your club team selection, everyone who plays college lacrosse has a plethora of accolades after their name and most of them carry little to no weight for college coaches.  Do not worry about being found.  If you are a good player, coaches will find you!  Finally,  not everyone is destined to play D1 lacrosse and that is okay.  Playing D1 lacrosse is demanding and not for everyone.  D2, D3, and club are great choices to continue playing at the college level.  Be intentional and think about it.